I Hate...

I hate this..I hate feeling so strongly about people or issues..I hate always having this nagging feeling that somewhere, somehow, someone is lying to me..I hate expecting so much from people..I hate feeling insecure..I hate feeling possessive..I hate not being in control of myself..I hate being a part of issues where my importance is not even felt..I hate hurting people..I hate hurting myself..I hate hating so much about myself..

Last week was such a mess..I don't know why god is punishing Appy for all my mistakes!I deserve to go through so much..Not him..He has never even hurt a fly!!And the worst is that i couldn't be with him when he wanted me the most.I know he will never forgive me for this..But i didn't know what to do..I wish i was there..I wish it was me instead of him..It hurts..

One year..........Forever to go..

It's gonna be one year..Can't believe that call was one year back!At some level, I still don't believe that you are not around..I still don't believe that you are not going to pick up my call when I call you..So much has changed over the last year..But somethings don't change..Time hasn't made the pain any lesser..Or any more bearable..I don't know where you are or how you are..Just want you to know that I LOVE YOU more than anything else in the world and i hope that you are in peace..Manyu..I miss you terribly..I wish you were here re..I so wish you were here..

Happy :-)

Am happy for a change..:-) And it feels nice..

Mid January blues!!

Life is a mess..Don't know what to do..Work just gets too much at times..I don't know how to handle it..Even personal like is a mess..Sometimes nothing works for you!!It's like god wants to ensure that every possible door to even a little happiness is taken away..When will this end!!!

Birthday!!

My Birthday is coming!!!I know it sounds ridiculously stupid to get excited at "this age" about things like birthdays but I can't help it!!They have always been special..And always been made special by the people in my life..I have really been very lucky..Have the most amazing set of family and friends..My friends have done such amazing things for me!!They have given me amazing surprises..Said and done the sweetest things..I am glad I am me :-)

I miss him..I miss him so much it hurts..Everyday i wonder, how different life would be if he was here..Please come back bhai..