Yeah..It's been ages since i wrote..I guess that is why these past few weeks have been the way they have been (Am i talking in riddles?) Well, i guess that is what life has been like since i joined work..A riddle..
It's been a month since i joined work..And i have never felt so unsettled about life as i have been feeling since the last week..All my assumptions about myself have been questioned..And doubted..And worst of all..By me..
I can't believe that i have been acting this way..Work seems to have killed all happiness in me..I have become so obsessed with it that every moment i have of peace, i ensure it is ruined thinking of work..
I don't know if this happens with everyone in general, everyone in the company i work in..Or am i just the lucky one..But work is getting to me..So much so that every morning i get up, all i think is how i don't wanna go to work..About how i would do just about anything to not go that day..It's not that i am scared of working hard..It's just the pressure and expectations of everyone from some one as new as me, that are scaring me..Or probably the longevity of this phase of my life that is scaring me..I don't know..
I guess it is just a bad phase in life..Or whatever..But i need to sort out my head..Everyone has been telling me that i am acting like a child..Which is true..But i can't seem to shake myself up..Even if i do, it is very momentary..A small incident gets me back to that state of mind..I feel like slapping myself..I can't believe i am such a loser..I can't believe that i have given up on this so soon!!This is not the Shraddha i know!!
I do hope things change soon..I want to be happy..And i wanna look forward to work everyday..
