Scared of Happiness?

I am weird..I really am..I don't know if its commonplace(rather i hope this isn't commonplace) but i am scared..Scared..Scared of being happy..Every time i can feel that feeling creeping up on me, its like warning bells sound in my head!!Shraddha!!You can't be happy!!My mind then drifts away to all those reasons for which i have to be sad about..And hence..I am back to square one..Don't confuse me..I am not in depression or anything like that!!But i believe that one cries as much as one laughs (did u notice that i said "one cries" before "one laughs"??)Anyway..So laughing scares me..Every time it makes me think that i will have to cry one day to square it!!What a terrible way to live life na..Actually its not as bad as it sounds..I am ok..But sometimes i feel that "mid- age crisis" has come to me a little too early in life..I guess i just need peace..And stability in life..I hope this changes soon re!!